From “I Should” to “I Will”

Executing When We Don’t Want To

I recently wrote about the challenge of getting what we want to do to align with what we should do[1]. Let’s continue down that path a little further. How do we move ourselves from “I should” to “I will”? Once we find the motivation for the right behavior, the next step is to find some methods for executing on those motivations.

Here are some methods and more motivations that might facilitate the shift from “I should” to “I will”:

Take the first step

  1. Break it down. Large, overwhelming tasks are paralyzing. If I think, “write a book”, I don’t have time for that. But I could find time to draft a table of contents this week. Outline one chapter next week. Write the intro the week after that. Or maybe I commit to two pages a day. Don’t focus on what you can’t do, plan and execute what you can do.
  1. Clear up ambiguity. We tend to shy away from anything that isn’t clear or that we don’t know how to do. You could blame it on everyone else for not making it clear and continue to wallow in unproductivity. Or you could own the responsibility to pursue clarity. Pursue it and do it.
  1. Be accountable. Your boss isn’t the only one who can hold you accountable, especially if you ask for it. Peers, friends, subordinates, relatives – if you can’t find someone who will hold you accountable you’re not trying very hard. Back to the book example, tell your kids they get ice cream every day that you write two pages and see if they don’t provide some accountability.
  1. Reward your successes. Did you do what you “should” instead of what you “wanted” to do every day this week? Get yourself some ice cream – unless eating healthier is your “should”! Put a positive spin on the things you’re most reluctant to do and your willingness will grow. What gets rewarded gets repeated.
  1. Make it about others. Assuming you’re not an egomaniac, focusing on how your success or failure impacts others might be the motivational nudge you need.

Whether it’s a lazy streak, risk aversion, lack of clarity, apathy, or something else that keeps you from doing what you should do, you have a choice. Succumb to it and accept the consequences or take action and overcome it. You don’t have to conquer it in one fell swoop. But like repetitions at the gym, a consistent series of small, intentional steps will strengthen your ability to resist “wants” in favor of “shoulds”. You’ll probably experience a few setbacks along the way, but don’t let them derail you. Learn from the misses and your success will continue to grow.Print_Button

[1] https://enlumenls.com/want-should

I Don’t Want To…

But I Should…

Imagine how different life would be if every time we chose our next action we based it on what we should do instead of what we want to do. Why are we surprised when our followers choose a less important task over the most important one when our own wants often win out over the shoulds?
Continue reading I Don’t Want To…

Time Management: When Best-Practice Isn’t…

Know Thyself…

There’s a classic illustration of filling a jar with sand and big rocks.  Put the sand in first and the rocks won’t fit.  Put the rocks in first and the sand fills the space around the rocks and everything fits.  The time management application is that we should do big, important tasks first before doing lesser things.

That’s good advice…sometimes. It might even be good advice for most people, most of the time.  But – and this won’t set well if you’re a “big rock” fan – it ranks among the worst advice I’ve personally ever received. Continue reading Time Management: When Best-Practice Isn’t…

Am I Teachable?

…Or Just a Learner?

I wonder if anyone has ever answered “no” when asked if they were teachable.  “No, I’m done being taught – I already know everything I need.”  Makes for a good chuckle, but we wouldn’t really admit to thinking that.

We couldn’t completely stop learning if we wanted to.  Our five senses are constantly feeding new information to our brain.  But the question, “Am I learning?” is different than, “Am I teachable?”

Learning can be passive, happening to us pretty much by accident.  Or our curiosity may drive us to experimentation that we learn from.  But the idea of being teachable implies being in a state where we welcome insights from others.
Continue reading Am I Teachable?

Defining Leadership Success

It’s Not About You

How do you know if you’re a successful leader? Regardless of your title, two things are true if you’re really a leader:

  1. Someone is following you. No followers, no leader. Following under compulsion (like just to get a paycheck) doesn’t count. People choose to follow true leaders.
  2. You’re going someplace. If you’re going nowhere, you’re not leading.

Leadership is inherently other-centric. You only succeed when your followers do. My followers should be more successful with me leading than if I wasn’t. My success is multiplied when my followers become leaders whose followers are becoming leaders. As a student in a recent class commented, leadership is a “pyramid scheme”. Continue reading Defining Leadership Success

The Cure for “Too Busy”

The Investment that Pays Back Big…

I’ve written before about dealing with the pervasive problem of being too busy (see https://enlumenls.com/say-no/, or the videos at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlqgjjR3m68). There is a way to gain significant ground against this problem. Now don’t roll your eyes at me until you’ve heard me out, but I believe the best, most lasting solution to being too busy is… Continue reading The Cure for “Too Busy”

The No-Brainer We Often Miss…

Managing Expectations

I slipped up this week. On Monday I told several people I would have something out to them by Tuesday. This was Wednesday morning. Someone else owed me the last piece I needed so I could do my part. It might come in any minute. Or maybe not. But naively thinking I would have it, I had made a commitment.

Here was my Wednesday morning thought process…
Continue reading The No-Brainer We Often Miss…

How (vs. What) to Communicate

The Method Matters

Never in history have we had so many options for how to communicate with each other. Face-to-face was once the only alternative. Then we added written words and pictures – although before paper, being carved in stone was a constraint! Radio and telephone introduced real-time remote options, and now the internet offers many ways to communicate with almost anyone, anywhere in the world instantly.

But all communication channels are not created equal — each has advantages and disadvantages. Continue reading How (vs. What) to Communicate

Minimalist Project Management

Doing Small Projects Well

Landing a man on the moon or building a skyscraper are incredibly complex projects requiring advanced project management (PM) skills.  Highly skilled project managers pull off seemingly miraculous feats of coordination and puzzle-1019766_640collaboration. You may not need that caliber of PM skills, but even small organizations still need to rally multiple resources to launch products, plan events, create marketing materials, build business plans, and solve other problems. Continue reading Minimalist Project Management

Hard vs. Bad

The Difference Our Attitude Makes

Like water, I tend to seek the path of least resistance through life.  We don’t intentionally seek the “hard” times, but if they can make us stronger and we must go through them, then let’s get the most out of them. One thing within our control determines the positive or negative impact of tough times: our attitude.soldier-919231_640

We don’t always choose our circumstances, but we do choose our attitude in response to circumstances.  But that choice begins long before the hard times hit. Continue reading Hard vs. Bad